“Don’t be mad if you hand over the steering wheel that is directing your path to health, happiness, and greatness.” — Debbie Rowland
There was a time when I thought support looked like someone doing it with me. Holding my hand. Making the salad. Pouring the mocktail. Turning off the oven at 7:59 because I had declared my kitchen would close by 8:00.
But yesterday, something shifted.
I watched the clock tick past the line I drew for myself. I was full. I was calm. I was clear. But dinner was still “coming.” And I realized that I had quietly handed over the steering wheel. Not just to Richard, but to the moment, to the mood, to the story that someone else had to honor my boundary for it to count.
No more.
This chapter isn’t about blame. It’s about power. Mine. Yours.
When I decided that I was in charge of how I feel, how I show up, and how I choose to nourish my body and spirit—everything changed. Not overnight. But it started with one simple truth:
If I don’t want to be mad, I can’t give away my steering wheel.
So I took it back. And I said, “We need to eat before 6:30.” Not with a stomp or a pout. But with clarity. If dinner doesn’t happen before I go to book club, then I’m not eating dinner. And I meant it. Because I finally believed that my commitment to myself matters more than avoiding a moment of discomfort with someone I love.
You see, boundaries don’t disconnect us. They anchor us. They allow us to stay in connection without losing ourselves.
This chapter is my reminder to you:
- Take the lead on your own peace.
- Don’t wait to be rescued from habits you no longer want.
- Communicate without fear. Then follow through without guilt.
You get to be in the driver’s seat now. Buckle up. It gets better from here.
Prompt:
What boundary have you quietly handed over to someone else? What would it look like to take the wheel back—lovingly, but firmly—today?